Pussy scented incense

lately i've been having a bit of difficulty determining what about my life i consider important.

is it because of the fact that i'm a raging alcoholic? maybe

is it my lack of ever having been in a long term relationship? probably

is it the idea of my leading a long tedious life of the same crap? definitely

so what do i consider important? i know my friends are pretty much number one to me, but how can i be sure of who's for real? and how do i know things aren't gonna change? at the end of this semester, half my friends will be leaving me. then what will i have? a few acquaintances nearby and a random spattering of people around the world that i will eventually lose touch with, it's already happening. I meet people that i think are cool as hell and then they just fade out of my life and i never hear from them again...so lately i've been desperately trying to cling onto the people i do have to make sure they never go away....but making drunk phone calls at three in the morning (six am new mexico time) will only get me so far in my desperate attempts to hold on to something familiar...what about this may when jackie leaves? i guess the only thing i can really do is enjoy the time we have together now or else i'll feel regret about it forever. especially when i later realize the intense effort it's going to take to stay in touch with her across continents and other such things. will facebook be around forever?

anyways the only way to fight reverse culture shock is for me to make the most of every minute that i can, and i'm trying...but i let it consume me sometimes...but it is these times when i really contemplate what i need to be doing with myself and really decide to make those things happen...hopefully i can follow through

where's the baby? there's no baby? you're the baby! grow up!

i've just realized that there is always more than one reason why my life is the shit! yesterday i got out of class early and was planning on going home to ready my new apartment to recieve all of my friends for the first time. but instead i went to the bar on campus about ten feet away from my class that let out early and me and jackie drank over a forty's worth of beer each and then proceeded to get high and higher and hitch a ride to my house...apparently somewhere along the line i promised the making of pancakes on my part, i wanted to right by this so i made to most beautiful perfect-looking pancakes ever and the other jackie helped me make potatos with portugese sausage and cheese. i had butter and syrup for the pancakes and salt and pepper for the potatos so it came out to a good meal......i'm just so surprised! i can cook! i made a wonderful meal for my friends and welcomed them into my house! and everything was done before ten so we got everyonce to leave before we could get a noise complaint! YAY!

and now i've discovered that the other jackie makes the most awesomeest of drinking buddies and you better look forward to hearing about more from us! i guess i better sleep so i can wake up to go to the beach tomorrow!

Do you have caramel flavored lipstick

Update:

I am no longer emo and life is awesome...this is what i've been up to lately:

• I finally found a beautiful and amazing house that's super close to school and that i love!
• my dad's been buying me and jackie a bunch of furniture and shit to put in out awesome house
• i went to a mardi gras party at a gay club and i saw a mahu pee standing up
• a lesbian came on to me and i made out with her! hot damn! but then she cried on me just like in harry potter when he made out with cho chang and she cried on him
• i still haven't made it out to any beaches other than waikiki...how lame is that?!?!
• i've already skipped an entire week's worth of classes and at least one homework...damn im slacking! my classes aren't even that hard....oh well!
• me and jackie want to get a bunny
• i went skinny dipping in the ocean at midnight in celebration of bob marley's birthday
• i got high behind the law building and went to ballet class
  
• i peed in the bushes outside one of the most popular bars for uh students
• i talked to my pal pauly for like two hours instead of going to school
• my job still sucks but i think i'm gonna get a new one...or something
• i have made plans so that by sunday i will have gone out/partied every night this week...yeah baby i'm a baller!

in short..life rocks