lately i've been having a bit of difficulty determining what about my life i consider important.
is it because of the fact that i'm a raging alcoholic? maybe
is it my lack of ever having been in a long term relationship? probably
is it the idea of my leading a long tedious life of the same crap? definitely
so what do i consider important? i know my friends are pretty much number one to me, but how can i be sure of who's for real? and how do i know things aren't gonna change? at the end of this semester, half my friends will be leaving me. then what will i have? a few acquaintances nearby and a random spattering of people around the world that i will eventually lose touch with, it's already happening. I meet people that i think are cool as hell and then they just fade out of my life and i never hear from them again...so lately i've been desperately trying to cling onto the people i do have to make sure they never go away....but making drunk phone calls at three in the morning (six am new mexico time) will only get me so far in my desperate attempts to hold on to something familiar...what about this may when jackie leaves? i guess the only thing i can really do is enjoy the time we have together now or else i'll feel regret about it forever. especially when i later realize the intense effort it's going to take to stay in touch with her across continents and other such things. will facebook be around forever?
anyways the only way to fight reverse culture shock is for me to make the most of every minute that i can, and i'm trying...but i let it consume me sometimes...but it is these times when i really contemplate what i need to be doing with myself and really decide to make those things happen...hopefully i can follow through
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dude I know. this has been my feeling for about the past year and a half. its pretty much the most depressing thing I can imagine -- losing my friends. That's why we can live together after college and have Matt as our sugar daddy. :) And I do think you're one of the few people that I can really maintain a close friendship with even though you're far away. I love you my Spoony :D
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